Weiners and Other Dicks

When some of us got into the “us vs. them” political gamesmanship mentality a few years back, desperate to unseat a despotic anti-democratic regime, we might have been profoundly emotionally sandbagged by “one of ours” sabotaged by their own penises. Gary Hart, Bill Clinton, John Edwards, Tony “it ain’t cheatin’ if she didn’t touch it” weiner, etc. - is it merely that the more “liberal” one is the more likely one is to get caught with one’s pants down? I’ll suggest something else. First of all, these cats aren’t “mine” - they aren’t on my team. They are wealthy white men of profound privilege, and as such, they believe that sex on demand is their birthright. They see it as a trapping and perk of simply being white men, much less being public figures. My “team”, if there is one, is of human beings who do not demand or expect the “right” to penetrate, subjugate, or “cream on” their fellow human beings, with or without weiners.

I do think that a birthright of all human beings is to be fed, clothed, sheltered, educated, and cared for when sick. To be treated with respect and honor, to be protected from harm, and to be given the chance to chart their own destinies. This is in concert with the natural order, as human values are part of the natural order. I think that any sane and caring human being should be concerned lest any other human being go without any one of of these things. I am, therefore, a radical, not a liberal. And i’m incapable of being disappointed or embarrassed by political figures who never represented me or my values in the first place. I represent myself, and I am perfectly capable of social shame on my own behalf. I’m ashamed, for instance, that I live in a society that seems to strongly believe that the care and feeding of my weiner is more important than any of the other values listed above. Now that is shameful.

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